Last week (and the week before that, and before that….) my older daughter scraped her foot on a rock outside. Even from a five year old it is the type of injury which should elicit a loud ‘Ouch!’. In her case in brings on a wake-the-dead scream which would make someone think she was being attacked by a gang of man eating squirrels. The type of scream which makes you want to punch your beautiful little flower right in her cute little face just to shut her up.

It is moments like this where I feel genuine dislike. At being forced to deal, again, with such idiotic inanities. At being pushed past my normally patient demeanor into a steam blowing, yelling jackass. But mostly I feel dislike at myself for feeling dislike toward this innocent little being who is simply figuring out life.

But the blunt truth is that my kid sucks, and so does yours. But then again, so do I and so do you. Each one of us has our own annoying traits which some people get irritated by and other people no longer want to even be in the same room with you. I am aware that my tendency to not filter my words has driven more than one person to feelings of extreme dislike toward me. And I think most people would agree that this is perfectly normal.

But most of us feel there is something just wrong with having the same feelings towards our kids. I see people try to stuff them down and ignore those feelings, like that can of Lima beans in the pantry you’ll never use. But if it is perfectly healthy for us to acknowledge our dislike toward other adults then there is no logical reason not to do the same for our little sunshine who seems to believe it is their job upon entering a friends house to empty each and every toy bin onto the floor before choosing none of them to play with.

And this is because we’re talking about feelings. It is of course not OK to physically react to these feelings. Acknowledging that you feel like smacking that shit-eating grin off their little smart-ass face is not the same as actually doing it. I believe you are doing your child a disservice if you aren’t mindful of these feelings, and don’t tell them (later, after a drink maybe) how their actions make you extremely disappointed and make you want to throw them through a window.

Just like the rest of us, kids and their actions will not be liked by everyone, including us. And also like us, they do not benefit by only hearing about the things we do like. We learn and make ourselves better by hearing that something we did actually pissed someone else off. So for your own sanity and your child’s benefit, allow yourself a little genuine dislike and let them know about it. Your windows will thank you.