My wife and I started the journey of parenting relatively late in life. I was at the tender age of 40 when our first wee one popped her teeny head out. As such, one of the advantages we have had is having more years than most watching and learning from other parents. We have a wide array of friends with children ranging in age from our own to those who have already made our friends into grandparents (that’s you PeePaw!)

Lacking a scientific study (or a good memory) I would say that the most common saying/advice from parents is the idiom ‘it goes fast’ or maybe ‘they are out of the house before you know it’. This is hardly new to me, but being June right now I am seeing the yearly flurry of high school graduation postings on Facebook and this year there seems to be a particularly large number of younglings I know moving on to that next stage in life. One family in particular is an old neighbor whose twins were the age of my youngest when we first moved in (and oh so politely referred to me as Mr. Craig). Seeing as I still visualize them as those little tykes, that particular evolution really brought back to me how important it can be to treasure our time at this stage.

At the same time, it is a pretty tired saying which is extremely easy to verbalize but not so easy to act upon. What does it truly mean to treasure time with our kids? This is a question with likely a unique answer for every parent out there and I am more than confident there is no ‘right’ answer.

For myself, more than anything else it means simply appreciating the little balls of energy for all of their unique and amazing qualities. I have found myself and my wife lately concentrating on their negative and/or annoying qualities and trying to hammer those out of them. Not only does this go against many of the things I’ve written about in my own blog, but every second I’m trying to make a seven year old behave like a responsible 40 year old, I’m losing out on simply enjoying this stage of innocence and cuteness.

So when Kiki, the slowest human being on planet earth, is once again taking a 45 minute shower followed by a 30 minute clothes selection and get dressed routine I will do my best to appreciate the fact that part of the reason she is slow is that the girl is truly enjoying every moment she is spending on these daily activities. She genuinely lives in the moment to a degree the rest of us should attempt to emulate.

And when Kaia, quite the slob even at seven, walks past another pile of clothes she randomly took off and dropped (in the f’ing kitchen!) I will try to be pleased that she is not getting stressed out by the mundane nature that is much of life and concentrate on the talented singing she was doing as she is disrobing her way through the house.

Further, it means just being with them and attempting to spend a normal day (a bike ride, a day off work to go to the museum). I happen to be lucky in how I make a living, and can often spend a random day doing something fun with my girls. Most people can’t do this, but don’t feed me your shit that you are too busy, too tired or some other excuse not to have random fun with your kid. As I am not the first to say, nobody has their kid graduate from high school and say ‘well that was a great 18 years, I just wish I had spent more time on conference calls’.

And while appreciation is defined differently for all of us, I am absolutely positive it does not mean teaching, correcting or otherwise molding your charge into what you want them to be. Those are your desires, your qualities and will likely not be on their list of unique traits. So forget what you think is important and just watch them. Especially in the sub ten year old range where I currently enjoy my time, they are largely unfettered by societal norms, still rush to give a hug every day and continually express their love. And those are the things I want to cherish while they are being lovingly slammed into my face.